The "rut" cycle

What did you do yesterday? Did you try something new? Did you allow your soul to stretch itself in new ways? Do you feel fulfilled today? Are you filled with JOY?

People often tell me that they feel "stuck in a rut" with their daily schedule. Does this sound familiar:

"I wake up, tired. I begrudgingly shuffle around to get ready for work. When I get to work, I immediately begin to count down the hours until I get to go home. But when I get home, I'm so tired from the day that I can't pull myself off of the couch...well, except to make some crappy food for dinner...usually convenience food. After dinner, I feel even more tired. So, it's back to the couch for some mindless TV. Then off to bed where I toss and turn, often worrying about the next day. Then I do the whole thing over again."

This is no way to live. This is an unhealthy cycle that I see a lot of Americans living. And truth be told, this was ME a few years ago. I was sad, lacking JOY, and merely "getting through" the day. Getting through? That's not what I want my life to amount to.

So, why do we allow ourselves to live this life? And why aren't we asking ourselves the right questions to get out of this rut?

We need to figure out why we're tired. How are our sleeping patterns? Why do we want to "get through" our jobs? Are we in the right job? How can we create energy to last all day? What would bring us JOY throughout the day? How can we work on our nutrition to fuel our bodies--not make us feel worse? How can we live our most authentic life?

You DESERVE to live a life that is "rut-free". You deserve a better daily cycle/schedule. If you need help answering these questions and pulling yourself out of a rut, life coaching can help.

Are you in a rut? Or have you been in a rut and then pulled yourself out? What helped you? Please post! As always, if you would like your message to be private, feel free to email me!

 life coach, life coaching, wellness, career change

How do you know when you need a change?

I get asked this question all of the time. But the truth is, I don't know when YOU should change. You do, though.

Here's how I gauge a need for change with all things in my life:

If my heart feels like it's dying a little everyday with what I'm doing, I stop. Period.

There's clearly more involved: action plans to successfully transition your situation, discovery of authentic paths, true desires, etc.

If you're feeling like this in your current situation with your work, relationships, education, state of wellness or your life in general, coaching can help. It can help you clarify what you really want.


Don't squelch what's in your heart. Live it.


 life coach, life coaching, change

What are you afraid of?

FEAR

So many things hold us back from living the life we truly want. You know it's true. I bet you can name at least 2 things right now that are holding you back from living a happy life. And I bet that if you dug deeply in to each excuse, you would find that FEAR is at the core of a lot of your thoughts. 

What are you afraid of?

Are you afraid that you won't get that dream job so what's the point of applying? Well, you certainly won't get it with that attitude. 

Are you afraid of asking for support in your weight-loss journey because you're afraid of what your partner or friends will say? Or are you even afraid of admitting the need to yourself? 

Are you afraid to ask for a raise, even when you know you deserve it, because of the uncomfortable conversation that might come with it? You need to weigh which is more uncomfortable: having the conversation with your boss or feeling that you're not worth the raise.

I heard an intriguing saying recently. The saying goes, "Fear stands for False Expectations Appearing Real". Huh! That was an "ah-ha" moment for me.

If you are making up daydreams about how you won't get that dream job, you are living those false expectations of reality. It's NOT real. You have the power to get the job. Go for it.

If you worried about what your friends or partner will say about you loosing weight, you are making up false expectation because you don't know how they will react. And if they love you, they will support you.

If you are playing a conversation with your boss in your head (that hasn't even happened) about asking for a raise, you are not thinking about the reality of how the situation will play out --you haven't even tried.

I think that exposing fear in this way gives it less power. And that's what we need to do to live the life we want through our most true goals!

If you would like to share examples oh when you've been afraid and how you dealt with it, please post. As always, if it is too personal and you would like to email me, please do so.  

I'll end with a quote that everyone knows, but it's just so fitting:

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"-Franklin D. Roosevelt

life coach, life coaching, wellness, change

Let's get PHYSICAL

 

You know you love 80s references!

But seriously, let's get moving. You want to be well? You've gotta move!

Movement is what we, as humans, were made to do. We got the bodies; life is for moving them. I talk to a lot of people who get so down with this aspect of wellness. Everyone has a circumstance and/or excuse for not achieving their movement goals. You have one don't you?

I for sure do. I struggle with chronic leg pain, arthritis, and muscle spasms. This is my struggle right now and it has almost diminished my level of movement. However, I choose to not let it dissolve completely. I do what I can and try to eliminate guilt and frustration. I stretch while I watch TV, at my desk, or while playing with my puppy. I also do yoga once in a while (truly, one of my personal goals is to become a yogi!) and I try to do a little water aerobics as well. It's not my "dream" movement lifestyle, but it's what I can do now. I put forth the effort and am aware of my limits.

Awareness is key.

What does your movement life look like? Do you have some unaccomplished goals? Are you satisfied?

No matter what your level of movement, good or bad/developed or struggling, I want to give you a few tips on how to easily implement more movement in your life.

Easy moves for your movement life

-Walk your dog. Heck, walk your cat. If you already do, take one more walk around the block each week.
- Do situps during commercial breaks of your favorite show.
-Set the alarm for 5 minutes earlier. Use the time to walk up and down your stairs, do jumping jacks, or pushups. Even a just a few.
-After dinner, do some stretches with your partner or family before you go on with evening activities
-Busy with school activities? Do leg lifts while sitting watching soccer or softball practice.
-Do squats in the shower.
-Ask your partner to have a mini-dance party with you in the living room.
-At a movie theater, tighten and tense up your muscles in your stomach or gluts while watching the film.
-Be a dance maniac at stop lights in your car.
-Hold an 80's party with food, beverages, costumes, AND a reenactment of Olivia Newton-John's video!!
-Instead of having dinner dates out, invite friends over to your house to play croquet, Frisbee golf, or even Twister!!!

Need more suggestions or help getting over roadblocks like chronic pain? Depending on your movement and wellness goals, coaching can help you generate ideas and create a plan that works for you.

What are some fun, easy ways that you move each day? Let's learn some "moves" from each other! Feel free to comment!

life coach, life coaching, wellness, change, exercise

Need some stress relief?

 

Life can be crazy sometimes, huh? We tend to form that craziness into stress--stress that can build up in our bodies and give us anxiety.

Does your neck hurt right now?


How about your shoulders? Are they tight?


Does your stomach hurt?


Does your whole body feel tired?


Do you have a headache? 


How about heartburn?

Stress manifests itself differently in each of us. But when you have it, you feel it. We too often let this stress build up long enough to really affect us physically and if it's not properly released, it can cause long-term aliments.

Don't fret! Don't get more stressed! Let the stress go! Physically AND emotionally!

Here's a quick exercise that you can do anywhere to get some stress relief:

• Make sure you feel comfortable and that you're in a safe place. 
• Shut your eyes.
• Beginning with your toes and moving your way up, start clenching your muscles tightly. Imagine that all of your current stress is building slowly up your body. Toes-calves-thighs-backside-stomach-chest-upper back-shoulders-biceps-forearms-fingers-mouth-head.
• Keep the stress building for several seconds, feeling your body shake and quiver. 
• When you are ready, let your muscles easy, feeling the stress release from your body. 
• Repeat if necessary. 

This exercise can also be used on specific body parts where you hold stress. If your stress in getting in the way of living the life you truly want, coaching can help.

What did you think of this exercise? Where do you experience stress in your body?

life coach, life coaching, wellness, stress

The Attitude of Gratitude

 

We all know that positivity trumps negativity in life. If we want to be happy, we need to be positive. But a lot of health and wellness professionals are finding that being positive isn't enough.

To truly be happy, or even get to the point of experiencing JOY, we must be grateful. We must show gratitude for the small things that bring us small joys in life to experience an overall feeling of this emotion.

I know, I know. You've tried it and it didn't work, right? Well, what did you do? If you're anything like me, you thought you were recognizing your gratitude by acknowledging it for a few fleeting moments a day...that didn't really stick. I found I wasn't getting much out of it. But actively being grateful is like being an active meditater, or exerciser, or chef. You have to live out your awareness by making time to practice it. You must practice gratitude to experience joy. Sounds funny, huh? But it's true.

Once I realized that merely thinking about being grateful wasn't working in my journey to JOY, I started to actively practice being grateful by scheduling a specific 15 minutes in my day to announce (albeit, to myself) what I am grateful for. And it worked! I started to worry less and allow myself to be more happy each day.

What are some ways to actively practice gratitude?

• Set aside a specific time of day to focus on what you are grateful for
• Keep at gratitude journal. Not only will it sink in more, but it can also give you joy on days when it's hard to think of what you are thankful for
• Associate gratitude with a daily activity. For example, you could use your time in the shower to practice gratitude. Or when you are driving to work. Or washing your hands
• Get a gratitude partner! Enlist your best friend or life partner to practice gratitude with you. Hold weekly phone calls, coffee dates, or IM sessions to share gratitude together. This will create lots of gratitude momentum!
• Remind yourself to be grateful by posting notes around your house or setting an alarm on your cell phone

Whatever you choose to do, I know that it will bring more joy into your life. When we focus on the good, we have less time to needlessly dwell on the bad and thus our world IS BETTER.

Need help finding more joy through gratitude? Let me know, as coaching can provide more skills and tools to help practice gratitude.

How do you practice gratitude? What are you thankful for? Let's all post and make a BIG list!

life coach, life coaching, wellness, gratitude

If I was going to recommend just ONE documentary...

...it would be this one. I'm obsessed with watching documentaries. I love them as it makes me feel like I'm getting something out of the time I'm spending watching TV. The documentary, "I AM", really resonated with me in a way that few documentaries do.

The films revolves around Tom Shadyac, the famous director of films such as The Nutty Professor and Ace Ventura. Tom had a life-changing accident and set out on a quest to answer the questions: what’s wrong with our world, and what can we do to make it better? It's a very soul-focused piece and what I love the most is the exploration of how our souls connect with each other. We are individuals, but we must live in true community.

In short, I laughed, I cried, I wanted to change my life to be a better person.

You can get a preview of it on the official site.  I highly recommend this film and hope it resonates with you to the core! I promise it's worth the time!

Have you seen the film? What did you think? I would love to hear!!!

life coach, life coaching, wellness, change

Living a life without regrets. It's your choice.

I'm sure that a lot of you have read this article before, but if not, it was this article that prompted me to make the biggest and best change I've ever made in my life; the choice was to serve others through being a life coach.

I don't believe in having regrets as I believe in living your life as an adventure--an adventure with flaws. But this article is a good reminder about what's really important. It was written by Bonnie Ware and has been published everywhere.

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Top 5 Regrets of Dying by Bonnie Ware

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last 3 to 12 weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

--------------------------------------------
It was #5 that drove directly into my core and reminded me of what living is all about. So, what will you choose? Will you choose to be happier?

If you are unsure of how to formulate your path to happiness, coaching can help pull your own answers out of your heart.

What are your reactions to this article? Feel free to post!

life coach, life coaching, wellness, change, authentic path

All you need is (self) love

Have you felt loved today? Have you felt like someone cares about you? That you're taken care of? Do you feel safe and secure?

Sure, the wonderful people in our lives can make us feel this way, but only if we allow them. What happens when we don't even love ourselves? <Insert: a tug on your heart, because you know you've felt it.>

If I were to ask you what you thought was the most fundamental basis of wellness, what would you say? Eating right..maintaining a healthy weight...spirituality? All are for sure critical aspects to wellness, but there is something even more crucial that we need to achieve these aspects of wellness.

Self-responsibly and self-LOVE are at the core of living a well life. Think about it: how can you achieve anything if you don't even believe in yourself or if you don't even care about yourself enough to take the time and be aware of your wellness needs? All wellness starts with a desire to take care, to LOVE, if you will, yourself.

So, what happens when we don't love ourselves? Well, we don't achieve what we're truly capable of achieving. Again, everyone in the world can love you, but it won't matter if you don't love yourself.

The questions then become: have you felt loved internally today? Do you care about yourself today? What steps have you taken to care for yourself today; to feel safe and secure?

If you are struggling to achieve your innermost goals, ask yourself: do I really LOVE myself? 

So, do you love yourself enough to live your best, most authentic life? If not, you deserve to!!! Coaching can help.

Posting opp: I would love to hear examples of how you take care of yourself and love yourself daily. Feel free to post! We can all learn from each other!

life coach, life coaching, wellness, change, love

The Power Within

I'm often asked why some people are able to accomplish their life goals while others seem to always come up short and have tons of regrets and resentments. I could go on about how people tend to stand in their own way of accomplishing their goals or how mindset matters (which it totally does, but that's another article!), but this is what I KNOW to be truest fact about goals:

We all have, within us, a power. A special power. One that is held within the core of our sousl. This is the power you feel when you are truly energized; the one that makes your chest rise up higher than normal; the strength in your ribcage. This is the power that makes people unstoppable in their life path. I don't have a name for this power, because it's really indescribable. But when you feel it, it's undeniable.

And yes, we ALL have this power. Unfortunately, a lot of people let their power get squelched beneath negativity, unhealthy environments, and other peoples' opinions. Additionally, this power is silenced and becomes restless when you are not living your authentic path (read more about authentic paths here).

This is when regret occurs.

You know that feeling when you overcome what you thought was never possible? Think back to when you aced that geometry test in middle school that you were dreading. Or when you made the football team even when no one thought you would. Or you landed that dream job even in the midst of inner-doubt. That power. Right there. How can we bring that power out to the forefront more often in our lives?

The answer is extremely simple: be aware of your power and put it to good use. Yes, this power can be used for evil; things like greed can corrupt it. But when you are aware of the fact that this power is, indeed, inside of you, and you unleash it on a wholesome goal, you will no doubt be unstoppable.

I get so excited talking about this power and helping others rediscover it within themselves that I'm beaming with JOY as I write this. I hope my words jump out of your computer screen so that you truly feel your power today.

Be aware and set out to do good and you WILL be unstoppable!

life coach, life coaching, wellness, change

Check-in: How are you doing today and in life?

 

I heard the best saying today. A very thoughtful and well-spoken man questioned us during a sermon, "how much meaning are you putting into your hyphen?" Your "hyphen" meaning the hyphen between your birth year and death year on your tombstone.

The hyphen. That's all we have. Simple, yet very profound.

So to check-in, how are you doing with putting meaning into your hyphen today? Did you help someone out? Did you spend time with some loved ones? Perhaps you took a little time to be thankful for the beautiful environment around you? Or maybe you took a moment and truly listened? Do you have any regrets? Any goals left unattained?

How are you doing day to day?

I think this is a great statement to live by--it completely resonated with me and I hope it does the same for you. And if you don't feel like you know "what" to put into your hyphen or "how" to put what you want into your hyphen, let me know as coaching can help.

-

P.S. Happy Father's day to ALL people who mentor to someone else, regardless of gender or position!

life coach, life coaching, wellness, change, health

Who needs a break?

Wow, it's been a long week, huh? With all the scheduling, working, lack of sleep (I didn't get my right amount), and a little bit of stress, I could really use a break. Maybe you could too?

Let's try something....
I'm going to sit in my bed in some comfy clothes and do the following exercise to renew my energy--feel free to sit or lay in your own personal, safe space (even try this at your desk for mini-breaks at work!!!) and follow along :

• Close your eyes
• Put one hand on your heart
• Take a big breath in, feel your chest rise and the breath fill into your lungs and down in to your belly
• As the warm air seeps in to your core, your column of life, say a word of thanks for the week
• Slowly release your breath and as you do, be conscious of the negative energy release that leaves your body with your breath
• In this release, be aware of the peace that comes rushing over your mind and body
• Repeat this breath meditation 5 times, opening your heart more with each inhale/exhale
• Hopefully, you are now refreshed for the day

Be well.

I would love to hear how this meditation resonates with you. Feel free to comment or email me!

life coach, life coaching, wellness, change

Eating: The dreaded yet yummy subject

People think that because I'm a life coach who has a speciality in wellness that I eat perfectly.

Are you kidding me? What is perfect? And, how boring is that?

I do try to eat in a way that fuels my body for good, but I allow myself space to eat in a way that makes me whole and lifts me up. Now, I'm not going to get in to deep nutritional facts in this article, but what I will say is that the key to healthy eating and feeling good about your eating is to figure out WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.

I'm a vegetarian. Not for any political reason, but because I have stomach pains when I eat meat (oh how I miss Kansas City BBQ though!!!). Additionally, I don't eat a lot of dairy, although I lust for it daily, as it negatively affects my digestive system. Now, you might not do well with gluten. Or maybe you're not a huge fan of strawberries. Carbs might slow you down. Whatever it is, I think the best advice I can give is to experiment and try what works for you! AND, keep an open-mind.

At one time, I was a vegan. I loved it, but I'm not super disciplined in any eating, so I went back to being a vegetarian. But I always aim to open my client's minds so I often resource-share a diverse palette of information. If you've been down with your eating I suggest trying something new:

One of my favorite all-time food blogs, regardless of the fact that it's a vegan site, is Oh She Glows. One look at the site and you'll see what I mean! If you didn't know better, you would think it was one of the most delictable looking food blogs you've ever seen! Angela Liddon inspires me to mix up my eating habits and to look at food as a JOY. Check out her site and her story. You'll be inspired too.

I would love to hear about the other sites you go to for food inspiration, no matter what kind of food it displays. I want to hear about the recipes that keep you feeling good. What works for you?

...And by the way, if what works for your so-called "healthy" friends doesn't work for you, give yourself some space and love to be different, to be unique and to take JOY in the journey of discovering your best eating style.

life coach, life coaching, wellness, change, eating, healthy eating

Sleepyhead

How tired are you right now as you read this? Are your eyes fighting to stay open? Are you trying to squelch the yawns that are building up in chest? Maybe you're reading in bed right before you go to sleep...or perhaps you've just grabbed the first cup of coffee of the day and are perusing your favorite blogs (hint, hint) at your desk before you start work?

Whatever you're doing, I bet you could feel a little more rested. Am I right?

People complain constantly about being tired, worn-out, sleepy, and drained. I rarely hear people say, "I got just enough sleep last night!" In fact, I either hear, "I got too little sleep," or "I got too much." Either instance results in feeling tired.

My entire life I have heard that adults MUST get 8 hours of sleep to be able to fully function (what does that even mean?) during the day. However, I've been doing a lot of research that says anywhere between 7-9 hours is best. I am a fan of ranges as no one person is the same. For me, I need 7.75 hours. This is exactly what works for me (and yes, I've tested it). Now, for you, it might be exactly 9 hours that keeps you feeling good. Or 7.4693 hours. Whatever it is, you need to figure it out for yourself.

How to determine what amount of sleep works:

• Set aside 3-4 days that you can test out different amounts of sleep. Preferably nights before minimally-scheduled days. 
• Try out a different increment each night.
• When the alarm goes off, stay dedicated to getting up to see how your body truly reacts (remember, it's just a few days. You can make it through, sleepyhead!)
• Pay attention to how you feel at different times the next day. Specifically: mid-morning, after lunch, 3pm, and right before you go back to bed.
• You might even want to take notes or journal about how you feel at the different times.
• Once you know your perfect "zzz" time, stick to it! Your body and mind will thank you!

Getting the right amount of sleep for YOU is one of the easiest ways to set you on a path to overall wellness. Our sleep is the longest, daily process we dedicate ourselves to for wellness (besides breathing, of course), so getting your perfect "zzz" time has the possibility of to accelerate any wellness plan you might have.

What is your perfect "zzz" time? Or are you still working to figure it out?

life coach, life coaching, wellness, change

The Daily Create

What is one thing you do every day that peaks your creative spirit? What do you create?

Do you write? Take photos? Bake? Landscape? Craft? Design? Sing? Build stuff? Make lists?

I paint. This is something that I started a few years ago and I'm very new, but for me, I love to paint what I feel and form those feelings into art that I can give to my loved ones. All of us need something that we can do to be creative--even a little--every day. Some people think that they are not "creative" and thus they don't try to create.

But "create"doesn't have to mean the same thing for everyone. In fact, we should think of creating as anything that helps us evolve our mind. Anything that you look forward to doing.

What do you create? I would love to hear and even view links if you have pics out here in cyberspace!

life coach, life coaching, wellness, change, art

What led you here?

I had a friend ask me today how I came to become a life coach. She didn't want the logistics, "well, I signed up for school and then I go to class four days a week, etc..."; she instead wanted to know what led me to coaching. I think this is a great question and one that I need to share with all of you, as my readers and clients!

I guess it all started when I was in high school. Like most American teenagers, I played all types of sports. And in those sports, I was never the star athlete; I was always hailed as the "team cheerleader". I prided myself on being constantly positive and uplifting for my fellow teammates--it just made me feel good to try to make them feel good.

Fast forward a few years. My dad unexpectedly passed away when I was 18. It's a super long story and I'll share more in future articles, but my he was the most fun and joyful person I've ever known. His death left a huge hole in my heart, but I continued to remind myself of his keynote mantra: life is too short to live it being sad. My dad would remind me of this in all situations--good or bad, and although he was tragically right about the "short" part, I truly believe in the saying.

Go ahead a few years to sophomore year of college. I wanted to change my major from the overly competitive field of advertising to something else--but what? I went in to the career counselor's office and told her that I wanted to motivate people to live the best life possible. She quickly had an answer for me: communications.  Wha, wha.

Fast forward again to me being 22 years old and fresh out of college. Wow, what a great time I had! But where did I go from there? I felt like I could do everything and nothing at the same time. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that my career path would always be "evolving". It so happens that I did change jobs often, but loved each of them. Especially working with people, connecting others together and to great resources, being creative and serving those around me. I think I just got so restless and wanted to experience everything I possibly could because as aforementioned, life is short. Looking back, I now know that restlessness comes from ignoring one's true path and desires.

Last year, I was feeling particularly confused and a little sad after a whirlwind (albeit happy) year of moving, marrying my true love, getting a puppy, moving again, and honeymooning. I felt, once again, restless, but this time it was different. I didn't just want to change jobs. I wanted to change my life. I needed to change what I focused on every day; change my heart; change my path.

I knew a life coach in college and for several months I had been joking with dear friends about how I should just become a life coach as I simply wanted to motivate, empower, and help people. They would laugh with me but then would turn and say, "but really, you can for sure coach me!".

One day I felt the pressure to succumb to the reality that my life would just pass by with no real focus or meaning. But my heart couldn't accept that. I felt as if there was a war raging inside of me between the feelings in my soul and what society told me I should feel. I closed my eyes and focused on something that would make me smile, a wild dream: life coaching. All of the sudden I felt at peace and my heart filled with energy. I turned to my husband and said, "I'm going to become a life coach. I can totally do this." He said later that it had been awhile since he had seen me truly joyful and he knew I would do it.

Since that day almost a year ago, I have gotten accepted into my number one choice coaching institute, taken several refreshing and meaningful courses, spent hundreds of hours coaching, and have met some of the most amazing people who are also dedicated to helping people live fuller lives through coaching. I have never in my life felt so passionate about something. (Well, besides my friends, family, gorgeous husband, and adorable dog.) But while I currently am leading my authentic life, I know that so many people in this world are not and helping them is my true purpose now. If we were all living the lives of our true souls, this world would inevitably be a better place. I believe in what I do and see it work every day. It's been a long and windy path, but my life GPS is now set on the right direction. We're all on the road to our true paths, but having a coach can help you get to your authentic life faster. If you or anyone you know is interested in finding your true JOY and your authentic path, please contact me. I want to help because this work is my true JOY.

life coach, life coaching, wellness, change, authentic path

Feeling a little frazzled?

Most wellness professionals agree that that whenever someone is feeling stressed-out/frazzled/overwhelmed, the best thing they can do is pay attention to their breath.

Seems simple, huh? But how many times do you stop during the day to be aware of your breath? Probably not so much.

Our breath connects every part of our body. We can only live minutes without it. We should pay a little more attention to it.

Try this: the next time you feel out of control, turn your attention to your chest and belly; place one hand on each. Breathe in deeply from your nose, hold, and slowly release through your mouth. Most importantly, thankful for your breath. This tiny act will change the course of your day by connecting your mind to your body and to your soul (your safe place).

Breath is one of my favorite things to write and speak about, thus it will be a theme of many more articles in the future. Happy breathing.

life coach, life coaching, wellness, change

Following an authentic path with your career

I saw a post on Twitter the other day in which a tweeter described how she hated that everyone in the world seems to ask, "what do you do for a living?", as an opening question in a conversation between strangers. This tweeter explained that she felt that it was a very unoriginal question to ask someone first thing.

Whereas I agree with the lack of creativity of the question, I have to wonder about the question itself. It's true that in this culture we often define ourselves by what we do to make money (a whole other blog post to be written soon), but is that the main issue with people not liking this question? Or is it that we generally dislike thinking about what we do for our careers as so many of us hate our jobs?

I lean towards the truth ultimately being held within the individual being asked the question, but I sadly too often see people who dislike their careers so much that they are miserable--I mean really SAD! They take more sick days, complain more, job search constantly, and have more of a bleak and negative outlook on their future. Alternatively, I do hear some people say that they are lucky enough to be able to "leave work at work" and simply "get through" their days, but I don't think "getting through" is good enough for living a fulfilled, authentic life. To do this, we must follow our soul and its deepest desires.

Well, what does that mean and how do we do this? If you are currently struggling with your job and/or you simply feel your heart tugging you in a different direction or feeling restless, you must first take a good, long listen to what your soul wants.

This takes being still. Perhaps you want to meditate or take your favorite animal on a walk. Our minds get too cluttered with stimulus today that sometimes we must clear our thoughts before we can get to those that really matter. Clear your thoughts and just feel and listen.

Allow your mind to wander and take note of any thoughts that bring you energy and joy. For me, I get giddy at the opportunity to be creative and help people. Also, I love thrift store shopping!

Perhaps you can start a list of things that peak your interest. These could be anything! Hobbies, ideas, objects. Read them aloud. When they make you psychically smile and your heart feels happy as you read them, star those things.

Then, once you have a final list pray, ponder, meditate, or simply focus on these things for a few minutes daily.

Eventually, you will start to identify the things you love around you and you will allow your life to open up new opportunities. The key is to keep things positive and hopeful, but to figure out your next job path also requires some hard work. But believe me, once you set your mind towards your true path, the effort of getting to your next stop along the path seems easier than you could ever imagine in your current state.

I hope you are able to discover your authentic path soon as your life will truly change for the better. If you would like to share your experiences in finding your authentic path, or even your struggles, please feel free to comment on this post. To remain anonymous, you can always email me, rhonda@rhondahw.com

I'm supposed to love my neighbor as myself...but do I always love myself?

Photo from USCranberries.com

This is an article I originally wrote for my local church in 2012. I have adapted it to relate to all people, no matter what religion or belief system.

We are taught as children to treat others as we would like to be treated. Thus, we should love others if we want to serve, love, and give selflessly to those in need, our families, friends, and community.

But I stop to question: don't we have to love ourselves first before we can fully love others?

Self-love (and ultimately self-responsibility) is the foundation of our life energy and the energy we can give to others. Without this core belief, it is impossible to truly LOVE others.

What is self-love?

Dr. John W. Travis, one of the founding fathers of the wellness movement of the past 30 years, describes self-love as:

• Honoring your uniqueness, and enjoying the uniqueness of others
• Listening to your own heart - treasuring your inner wisdom
• Responding to life's challenges as opportunities for growth, rather than as problems
• Caring for all aspects of yourself - body, mind, emotions, spirit - and sharing your caring with others
• Exercising compassion for your weaknesses, and forgiving yourself and others
• Experiencing yourself as your own best friend, and remaining faithful to yourself, especially in the rough times
• Realizing your connectedness with all things and acting in a way congruent with that awareness
• Being truthful with yourself and others
• Celebrating the irrepressible process of life

As I read through this list, I feel my heart saying, "Yes! Start here! This is what I want for you. Now embrace this and go do the same for others". We should love ourselves as beautiful creations who were made to serve others and the Earth (even on those days when it's hard to simply like ourselves). If you think about self-love in this way, it is more self-full, if you will, than selfish.

This week, I hope you love on yourself a little! Maybe you could start the day out by reading the above statements, letting them fill you with JOY, and with this JOY, make a point to pay attention to where life leads you to love others throughout your day.

Go! Be self-full!!!!!!!

life coach, life coaching, wellness

What the heck is life coaching?

I know that a lot of people have been hearing the words "life coach" a lot lately. The profession is becoming more widespread as people are seeing results towards achieving their life goals. However, quite a few people have a perception of what coaching is and it is often not correct...

So, what is life coaching?
“Professional Coaching is an ongoing professional relationship that helps people produce extraordinary results in their lives, careers, businesses or organizations. Through the process of coaching, clients deepen their learning, improve their performance, and enhance their quality of life.
In each meeting, the client chooses the focus of conversation, while the coach listens and contributes observations and questions. This interaction creates clarity and moves the client into action. Coaching accelerates the client's progress by providing greater focus and awareness of choice. Coaching concentrates on where clients are now and what they are willing to do to get where they want to be in the future. International Coach Federation (ICF) member coaches and ICF credentialed coaches recognize that results are a matter of the client's intentions, choices and actions, supported by the coach's efforts and application of the coaching process.”
- Source: International Coach Federation (www.coachfederation.org)

How is coaching different from therapy?
Therapy focuses on people's past, problems, and generally helps those suffering with some form of mental illness (depression, anxiety, or severe mental illness).
Life coaching focuses on the person as a competent, whole person who is capable of achieving their goals. In coaching, I do not focus on the client's past; rather, I focus on their present and how to move toward the future they want.

What can coaching help with?
The sky is the limit!
Some examples are:
-Career transitions
-All wellness goals, such as weight loss, centering, work/life balance
-Stress management
-Fitness goals
-Transition from being a student to finding a career
-Figuring out majors/minors in college
-Bucket List items
-And much, much more! If you have the desire, I can help you achieve it! 

life coach, life coaching, wellness, change

The Art of my Website

Most of the art used in my website is my own. I love to paint, draw and experiment with all things artful. This is one way I PLAY in life. I will continue to post personal paintings under the "Art" tab as they often express my own Journey to JOY.

I do, however, have a few people to thank for the overall construction of website:

• My gracious and talented brother-in-law, David Warren, lent me some photos (in the header of the site) that invoke JOY for me. Aren't they beautiful? Thanks bro!

• My friend Sarah Turner is such an amazing photographer and she was kind enough to take profile shots of me! We had a blast and it was definitely the best photo shoot EVER. 

• And one of my oldest, dearest friends, Rachel Pettit-Scott, helped physically construct my site. She is one of the most intelligent and wonderful people I know and I am thrilled that she created this amazing site for me! Go see more of her work at her Etsy store, RV Parties

 I am grateful for these talented people in my life and for their love!

life coach, life coaching, wellness

Want a good read that will blow your mind?

Have you read this book? If not, you should. Especially if you are in the midst of trying to figure out your authentic path in life. If you are feeling that you are headed in the wrong direction and that your heart desires a new journey, this is a must read.

Gary Zukav is such a thoughtful writer. I find myself highlighting almost every sentence--YES, it's that good. The Seat of the Soul is described as being " about authentic power--the alignment of the personality with the soul". Gary describes our lives on Earth as being our personality and our soul as our mothership.

I was hooked when he spoke about the book with Oprah and he said that if your personality (our life on Earth) does not align with your soul, then your heart can die a little everyday. When you follow your mothership (your soul), you will be living your authentic life and thus your heart with come alive. Whoa. I think that if more of us followed the desires of our soul, the world would be a better place. We wouldn't be as depressed, sad, or lost.

Note: this book does not align with any specific religion, but instead aligns with the core of us humans.

life coach, life coaching, wellness, change, spirit, soul

Welcome to my site!!!!!

Hello!!!! Welcome to my site. I hope you find it refreshing and helpful...

life coach, life coaching, wellness, change